Doing Better to Feel Better: Why Action is Key to Overcoming Anxiety, Depression, and Negative Behaviors
Hi, everyone; I hope you are all well and enjoying this brilliant spring weather. It’s the best time of year—cool nights, sunny days—I love it! So, let’s get down to this week’s topic. Those of you who have worked with me already will have heard this from me. For those that haven’t, I hope you find these insights useful.
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about mental health is the belief that we must wait until we “feel better” before taking positive action in our lives. This mindset, while understandable, often leads to stagnation, particularly for those struggling with anxiety, depression, or negative, self-destructive behaviors. However, there’s an important shift in thinking that can radically change one’s trajectory: the idea that doing better helps you feel better, rather than waiting to feel better before you do anything.
This principle, rooted in cognitive-behavioral practices and motivational theory, is pivotal for those looking to improve their mental and emotional well-being. Moreover, how we approach motivation—specifically the contrast between “moving towards” goals versus “moving away from” negative states—can make all the difference in how effectively we break free from harmful cycles.
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The Trap of Waiting to Feel Better
When you’re caught in the grip of anxiety, depression, or destructive habits, it’s easy to believe that you’re powerless until your feelings change. However, this thought process keeps you trapped. Waiting for your emotions to shift before taking action is akin to standing at the foot of a mountain and waiting for it to shrink before you start climbing.
Expert Tim Sharp, a clinical psychologist, notes: “One of the best ways to shift negative moods and unhelpful thoughts is to do something constructive… even if you don’t feel like it.” (Sharp, Positive Psychology). Sharp emphasizes that action often precedes emotional change rather than the other way around. By focusing on doing something positive—whether it’s getting outside for fresh air, engaging in a hobby, or reaching out to a friend—we create momentum that begins to pull us out of our negative state.
Inaction, on the other hand, reinforces those negative emotions. The more we wait, the more ingrained anxiety, depression, or bad habits become. This vicious cycle continues until we consciously break it by deciding to take even small steps toward positive change. One of the most significant revelations for many is realizing that you don’t need to feel ready or capable in order to start doing something better.
The Power of Small Steps
Another critical aspect of doing better to feel better is acknowledging that change doesn’t have to be monumental. Small, consistent actions can have a cumulative effect that leads to meaningful shifts in both mood and mindset. Start with something achievable—a 10-minute walk, a five-minute meditation, or one productive task—and allow that progress to fuel further action.
James Clear, in his best-selling book Atomic Habits, highlights the power of small, consistent actions: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” (Clear, Atomic Habits). Each small, positive action reinforces your identity as someone who is capable of change, and this shift in self-perception is crucial for long-term mental health. The more you practice taking positive steps, the more your brain starts to recognize that doing better directly impacts feeling better.
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The Problem with a “Moving Away From” Motivational Style
When it comes to motivation, many people find themselves focusing on what they want to avoid. This “moving away from” style involves thinking along the lines of, “I need to stop feeling anxious” or “I just want to avoid messing up.” The problem with this approach is that it inadvertently focuses your mind on the very things you wish to escape. By fixating on what you don’t want, you are constantly engaging with negative thoughts.
For instance, if someone wants to stop engaging in destructive behaviors like substance abuse, a “moving away from” motivation might look like: “I need to stop drinking because it’s ruining my life.” While the intention is positive, this mindset keeps the focus on the drinking. This can result in increased anxiety and shame, which in turn often lead back to the very behavior one is trying to avoid.
A “moving towards” motivational style, on the other hand, shifts the focus entirely. Instead of concentrating on what you’re trying to avoid, you focus on what you’re striving to achieve. In the case of substance abuse, a “moving towards” mindset would be: “I’m choosing to focus on health, well-being, and positive relationships.” This change in focus dramatically alters the emotional landscape, making it easier to take positive action because you’re moving toward something that inspires and motivates you.
The Benefits of a “Moving Towards” Motivational Style
When you focus on what you’re moving toward, your goals become more tangible and positive. Instead of trying to escape a negative state, you’re working towards a rewarding one. This shift in focus helps reduce anxiety because the mind isn’t stuck in an endless loop of avoidance but is instead driven by hope and aspiration.
Renowned psychologist Dr. Kelly McGonigal points out: “The key to motivation is not to fixate on the avoidance of a problem but to engage in behaviors that align with the positive outcome you desire.” (McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct). This “moving towards” approach encourages individuals to create a future-oriented mindset, which is far more empowering and less emotionally draining.
Not only does this method feel more positive, but it also leads to greater success. People who focus on what they want to achieve often experience fewer setbacks because they are building towards something rather than constantly battling to escape something. The energy they put into creating a better life builds resilience, and they start to see that their future is not defined by their past or their current struggles.
You Have More Control Over Your Mental State Than You Realize
A common misconception for many is that their mental and emotional states are entirely out of their control. This belief can be particularly prevalent for those struggling with anxiety or depression. However, while it’s true that these conditions can be deeply challenging, it’s also true that we have far more control over our mental state than we often realize.
Research in neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire itself based on thoughts and experiences—shows us that the brain is malleable. By consistently focusing on positive, forward-moving actions and thoughts, we can change the way our brain responds to stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. Through practices like mindfulness, cognitive reframing, and even small physical actions like exercise, we can begin to shift our mental state in a matter of weeks, or even days.
Change Doesn’t Have to Be a Long Process
One of the most hopeful aspects of doing better to feel better is that change doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out process. While therapy and personal growth take time, significant shifts in mood and mental clarity can happen quickly once you start taking action. The act of doing something positive, no matter how small, sets off a chain reaction of emotional improvement.
Instead of waiting to feel better and getting stuck in a cycle of inaction, understand that doing better is often the catalyst for feeling better. By embracing a “moving towards” motivational style and taking small, consistent steps, anyone can begin to reclaim control over their mental state and create a future that is defined not by avoidance but by aspiration and growth.
Reach out today if you’d like to start your journey of change.
References:
- Sharp, T. (n.d.). Positive Psychology: The Key to Shifting Negative Thoughts. Psychology Today.
- Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Penguin Random House.
- McGonigal, K. (2011). *The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You
